Do you accept yourself?

I attended an event where everyone was told to 'be free'. To express ourselves in whatever way we wanted. In fact, the invite let us all know in advance that this was to be the format.

Once the event started, 95% of attendees stood still, looking around or standing nervously. Some sat on the chairs provided for resting as required. This was only the beginning of the event.

I observed (as one of a series of facilitators) that attendees were unsettled. I realised they had not fully accepted they were 'free'. They waited for direction, instruction or confirmation that they were in fact 'free to be'.

As facilitators, we encouraged and we empowered but in the end, we had to show what it looked like to be free. Attendees began to get loose, be loose, be free. They began to realise that they truly were free to express themselves. They began to accept 'freedom'. They began to accept themselves. It was ok. They were ok.

Do you accept yourself?
Accepting all of who you are?

These attendees were free, even before they walked into the event but did they accept themselves?

• Why did you do that?
• What are you saying?
• Who are you?
• Where are you going?
• When did you decide on this?

Some people accept us for who they want us to be, 'Be sensible', 'I thought you were my friend', 'Why not go for a drink?', 'I always looked up to you'.

• They want a peer, so don't move higher or lower
• They want a mentor, so don't ever be down or make a mistake
• They want a mentee, so don't ever become empowered beyond where they are

A few people accept us, just the way we are

• It's ok to be successful
• It's ok to fail sometimes

They accept us and do not put any demands or unfair expectations upon us.

BUT

Whether some accept us or some don't accept us, do we accept ourselves?

You are enough, just as you are. Of course, we all grow and change. Of course, we fall or fail too.

There's beauty and magnitude within you (see my blog re Giants), not to crush others but to lift them up, walk with them, to be an advocate or simply to be an example.

Do you accept yourself?

Accept yourself - Do it yourself for yourself.

It's not selfish, it's self-care!

I describe......................You decide.

Who are you hanging with?

In this month of Spring Cleaning for Change, we need to search every area of our lives.

Do you like to be where the action is....the limelight that is? Walking the red carpet of 'attention seeking behaviour' hoping others will see what you do, rather than who you are.

Who needs your support?

Doing good really feels great and is great! A spring clean of the heart.

In the Bible, Jesus sought out Prostitutes, Tax-Collectors, Samaritans, ignorant Fishermen, the sick (Lepers), Women, the demon-possessed, in fact anyone who was shunned or actively rejected by religious leaders.

Let's clean ourselves out by 'hanging out' with the right crowd.
Do you know anyone who is sick, either at home or in hospital? How about a person who needs someone to talk to? Someone with a listening ear rather than a 'Judge & Jury'.

Who in your family has been rejected?  Who at work has been left on the side lines of life, spiralling down under the pressure of loneliness?

Are you a giver or a taker?

Look around....are your people, like your people? in other words, friends who are similar to you. It's all comfortable, no real challenge.

Who are you hanging out with?

If you're a taker, find some givers. If you're a giver, find a taker.  Creating different kinds of friendships cleans out the dross of poor judgements, prejudices, pride, selfishness, ignorance, lack of faith, intolerance and lack of Love.

Warning: If you hang with haters (nasty to you or others), RUN!
Run as fast as you can away, far away. You deserve better.

Who are you hanging with?



I describe............................You decide!

Spring Clean Too - What's missing in your life?

Have a look around, a careful look.....what's missing?

I believe.....Life is what you make it.

So, what is missing in your life?


Laughter? Make yourself laugh. You know what puts a smile on your face. You don't need to wait for anyone else to do it for you. What makes you laugh out loud? Just do it yourself.  Think 'funny', think smile, laugh until it hits your belly. It feels good, really good. Give it a go! What's missing in your life?

Quiet? Create a time and space for yourself. Try 60 seconds, then 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins until you have the time you need to be quiet. Be still and know......what's missing in your life?

Friends - Too many? Gain more time by letting go. Release the friends you really don't need to see any more. Too few? Look for the lost. Be friendly and you will get more friends. Really! Whose missing in your life?

Freshness? Do something 'new'. Something, you have not done before. Try a cold shower - that's fresh! Revisit an idea you had as a child. Do it now. Nervous, take baby steps toward your idea or strategically leap in wisdom. That will get you fresh quickly! Don't die with regrets - get fresh. What's missing in your life?

Money? Think about your money in new way!  money issues can push you to be financially sound.   Think about it. Learn how to manage your money...it's not natural (except to those it comes naturally to, of course). Ask a friend (they must be a good money manager) or search for tips and bits online. Whats missing in your life?

Provocation? A little bit of hate does wonders for your confidence. Knock it....No! I mean, build you up. If you let it, hate can motivate you to be better, do better, to really love yourself. No one else can love you, like you can. A big bit of love does wonders too for your confidence. Can you receive love? Are you able to give love..no conditions, simply love from the heart? Provoke yourself to be your best self and provoke others to love too. What's missing in your life?

Spouse? Look around..there are so many beautiful people who are full of love around the world...don't limit yourself, don't get desperate...get new friends, a new life and a new level of love, not sex! Don't make a list for someone else...make a list for yourself. What's missing in your life?

Children - Are you really ready for that level of commitment, responsibility and stability? Whether you are male or female, try fostering first....that's a good start. Don't start a relationship you cannot sustain. Love is important. Care is essential. Bottom line..don't come as you are. Come better than you are. Children need it. What's missing in your life?

Jesus? Get a copy of the Bible and start reading! Proverbs is a good place to start..it's the book of wisdom. What's missing in your life?

I describe............You decide! What's missing?

Spring Clean for Change

Spring is finally here again and it feels great! A time of change...newness, freshness, greenness, cleanliness.

Spring Cleaning is defined as 'a thorough cleaning of a house or room, typically undertaken in Spring..' (Google dictionary)

Spring is a great time to consider spring cleaning ourselves. 

A Spring Clean for Change;

• Our Appearance
• How we Think
• Our Behaviour
• How we Speak
• Our Attire
• What we do

We may not need to spring clean every area but we should check just in case we do. You never know where the cobwebs or dust could be building up. Check everywhere.

What do you need for your Spring clean?
 A new wardrobe. Exercise. A new eating program. Advice. Support. Left alone to meditate. To pray. New learning material. To sleep more. Positive thinking

When will you start?
Now is a good time as any..'start as you mean to go on'. Select a specific date.

Does everything need cleaning?
What are you thinking right now? Do you need to renew your mind daily (Bible - Romans 12:2). Do you need to detox?

Do you still use it?
Maybe a skill you've learnt many years ago. Certain words. The leather watch. Those winter boots. What others think of you?

Do you need to let it go?
The false beliefs about yourself. Worrying. Too much work. Being too friendly. Being too serious. Unbelief.

Do you need to replace or upgrade it?
Your mattress for a better night's sleep. Your spectacles or contact lenses. Your health regimen. Your lifestyle.

Or do you need to make space by decluttering?
Memories that you should have left in the past long ago and move forward. Friends who are no longer friends but familiar people taking up a lot of time.

Spring Clean for change before change cleans you out!


I describe........................You decide!

Wake up...You are a giant!

This is a speech I gave a few years ago. It still seems appropriate today.

1. Wake up! Wake up! No snoozing.
2. Who are you? Why are you here?
3. Who are you really, deep on the inside?
4. If you are here, alive today......You are a giant!
5. Giant (in case you're not sure) is a person of outstanding size or srength; a person of outstanding importance or achievement.
6. The Giant versus A Giant - You are 'the' giant, specifically and uniquely YOU!
7. Wake up......what is inside you that was dormant until now?
8. You know it's there. You know it's BIG!
9. Like me....were you afraid...of yourself, your power, your love?
10. You are not a giant built to kill others but a giant to live, to love, to give and to protect!

Wake up! Can you smell the coffee?

Based on the bible story of David & Goliath;

Goliath looked like a giant, sounded like a giant.  He had a big voice but was he a giant inside?

David looked little, looked crazy, sounded crazy..'taking on a giant, really? BUT, he was the giant inside! "I will kill you and take off your head".  He did it, just as he promised he would.

Welcome giants!

I feel sorry for the unprepared who will meet you from this moment on!

I describe.............You decide.

Write Something....a Love Letter to God!

Thank you God,  I love you

You've  covered me, 

when I needed protection.

You made me smile, 

when things were going wrong around me.

You sent the sweetness of your Spirit to lift me up,

when I was down.

You stirred a worship in my heart.

You never let us be apart.

Your love is so astounding to me.

You never leave or forsake me.

You wrap me in your everlasting arms.

You allow me to laugh 

and rarely to frown.

You send me Angels to pick me up.

Their smile, their joy, their talk, it pulled me out.

Your light, it brightens every crevice.

There is no shadow when you are around.

You overwhelm me with your love.

It swells my heart with emotion.

You created me to write something

And this something is for you.

Thank you God........I love you!

Friends - Not a tick box exercise!

What makes a great friend, a real one? The ones that know stuff about you....real stuff and they stay friends regardless. They are solid, dependable, honest, supportive not perfect...but real!

Let me introduce you to some of mine;


The Time Lord
A wonderful man of great truth and personal power. He is an effective listener. A truth advisor. He operates outside of time, inside time, behind time and ahead of time. He is innovative and dynamic. In my deepest pain, he stood like a silent commander awaiting a request to help, to support. When called he came promptly. When not, he respected my space. When he was moved, he created what was needed to display his feelings, his unspoken words, his heart.

'There's no time like the present' and he is a 'present'. Words cannot readily encapsulate who he is, his whole person. He is one of those friends who puts a smile on your face, even when he is not around. A friend to love as a brother no more or less. A gentleman. A real man.

'To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven'
(Eccelesiates 3:1 Bible)

In short: He is a musical beat, set at Maximum level.


Angel
Seen and unseen. The kind of friend who is always there but not everyone sees them. She encouraged, supported, counselled, helped...is she really real? Only she can tell us!
She brings messages of good news from near and far..and I don't mean gossip. She too always responds when called upon. She's not pushy. She can easily be hard like flint, yet soft as a flurry of feathers scented with Lavender all within a short space of time. She is the friend you call for coffee and a serious chat. She will sit with you while you unpick a dilemma. She supports whatever the outcome will be. She's a friend 'under construction' but has been a great friend regardless.

'The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, And rescues them.'(Psalm 34:7 Bible)

In short: She is an Angel who is still 'finding herself'. When she does, she will be dynamite!


The Bodyguard
Words fail me with this friend at the moment. Well, not literally of course. God put us together. Wow, Wow, Wow! What a power house she is. She is a sister, a tower of strength, a bodyguard. She is discreet, accomplished, funny, soft, highly trained, she is my safety net. I don't lean but sometimes i leap, and she's got my back. She can make herself available around the clock. She has family and is family.

'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.' (John 13:35 Bible)

In short: She's tough with a soft centre. Need I say more...I don't think so.


Fashionista Evangelista
She loves Fashion. She loves souls. Her desire is that everyone is saved. She loves challenging boundaries whether in Fashion or as a believer.

She's cool, she's blond, she's not 'a bombshell', she's the bomb...1..2...3 Bang! A friend with a difference. She has Style, She has faith, She has conviction!

'And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.' (Luke 18:27)

In short: A sister who's an A-lister. She walks the red carpet and wants everyone to at least have the experience.


Ella Ganz
The prayer Diva. She prays with the style of the French. She is always fresh and new. She gives good counsel and equally a good listener. She is softly spoken with a direct approach when necessary. She has flair. She loves everything french. She will cover you in prayer at the 'drop of a hat'..a top hat (smile).

She cares. She will cry with you, then laugh with you, then she will sing to you. She can be still with you. She can write a poem in the silence of your thoughts. She is elegant, she loves colour, she loves luxury, she loves God.

She 'prays without ceasing' (1 Thessalonians 5:17 Bible)

In short: If you are in a mess...she will help you clean it up.


I thank God for making these beautiful people called Friends....my friends.
They along with my family have helped to make me who I am today. They love me, they challenge me, they support me, they frustrate me, they cry with me, they laugh with me, they have stood with me through the worst and best of times.

Q. Have you taken the time to give your friends a tribute?
Why not write a tribute to your 'real' friends or tell them face to face. They will love it and you will feel the love too.

'A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.' (Proverbs 17:17 Bible)

In short: My friends will be given this blog to keep, because I love them all. They are special people.


I describe...........you decide.