Bitter or Better?

1. A friend betrays your trust
2. Are you bitter or better?

1. Someone close to you dies
2. Are you bitter or better?

1. You fail an exam or assessment
2. Are you bitter or better?

1a. You lose your job (scrap that....how can you lose your job....where did it go?) Reword it!
1b. Have you been released from work?
2. Are you bitter or better?

1. Someone physically assaults you
2. Are you bitter or better?

1. Your love is rejected
2. Are you bitter or better?

1. Restricted from being yourself?
2. Are you bitter or better?

You may not be able to do much about point 1 in each series of statements above but you can do something about point 2 of each one.

The small changes made in your life, can create a BIG impact.

Only one letter changes 'bitter' to 'better'. One letter makes the difference;
I = insecure; insular; isolated; idol; inferiority (complex); indignant; insensitive; ignorant; injured; immobilised.

E = embrace; empower; enjoy; elate; eager; energise; excellence; empathic; earnest; engaging.

We can improve our lives by starting with one small change.

Improve your language.
Speak in the positive. Speak in truth's. Speak in facts not fiction - STOP telling stories. Be real. It may be uncomfortable at the start BUT the liberation feels amazing as you begin to embrace yourself. Speak Better - Become Better!

Change your image.
Dress in who you aspire to be. How you dress, sends messages. What do you want to say? Say it through your clothes. If you believe it, others will too. Improve your image - Become Better!

Sniff up
What do your scents say about you? Try different scents on you, in your home and in your laundry. See how it affects you. Smell Better - Become Better!

Eating well?
Try something new; Try a healthy food; Try a luxury item - treat yourself better.
Eat Better - Become Better!

Make an Exchange
Are you doing what you were created to do? Are you being you? Search yourself - is there any bitterness in you? Change it to better. No job - find one yourself! Need help - ask! Loving those who don't want it? Find those who need love. Volunteer, Learn, Seek knowledge, Give, Declutter, Clean up, Renew, Revise, Resolve, Review.

'Bitterness destroys the vessel it is in, not the vessel it is aimed at' (adapted from a Mark Twain quote.)



I describe ................................you decide!

What Did You Hear Me Say?

Can you hear me
If I say that you're great?

Can you hear me
If your purpose I inspiringly state?

Can you hear me
When I say it's ok?

Can you hear me
Because I know you have something to say?

Can you hear me?
Can you please?
It's your future I speak of...
A gift to you....in deed!

Can you hear the cry of the people who...
Need your skills and abilities
Your unique-selling-point.....No...! your unique YOU?

Can you hear the sighs of relief
when you walk into a room?
The impact of your presence in the World,
That Tick, tick, tick.......Boom!

God says 'My sheep hear my voice,
And I know them, and they follow me' (John 10:27)
Can you hear Him speaking?
or did you think that was me?

'And I give unto them eternal life;
And they shall never perish,
Neither shall any man
pluck them out of my hand' (John 10:28)
Did you hear that or..................Not?

What do YOU hear?



I describe.............................You decide.

Put Away Childish Things...!

How often do we see Adults acting like children?
How often do we act like a child, in an adult situation?

• Acting up - having temper tantrums
• Quivering the bottom lip - sulking
• Giving 'Tit for Tat'
• Having a pity party
• Creating cliques
• Gossiping
• Telling tales
• Overall, not taking responsible for self.

'When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understand as a child, I thought as a chid; but when i become a man, I put away childish things' - 1 Corinthians 13:11.

What does it mean to be an adult?

We put away childish things.

We speak as an adult.

Temper tantrums?...No!

We understand, no one makes us angry or sulk,

We think about how we will act......no reacting!

'Tit for Tat'.... really? No we won't

We aren't like any other person, 

so why imitate them by rendering 'evil for evil'

No!

As an adult, 'we overcome evil with good'.

We are different, so why lower our behaviour to match that of others.

'No one understands me, if they only knew what i've been through'. 

No! We are not going there.

This is one party we need to avoid....The Pity Party.

Attending does not make anything better.

Adults - do you really need a small group of people that no one else can join....really?

Say No to cliques

Widen your circle of influence, there is a lot of people in the world. 

You'll be amazed at how many really, lovely people are out there, just like you.

Do not allow your ears to be an aural dumping ground.

Stay positive by listening to positive people, sharing positive experiences.

if somebody talks to you about someone, then they may talk about you too.

Are you telling tales? 

Tales are untruths, hurtful, exaggerated, stories, so why would you get involved?

Sometimes, they can be true stories but it's not your tale to tell.

Your take away is..........................Grow Up!

Take responsibility for yourself.

Put away childish things.

Act like an adult, in an adult situation.

I describe...........................You decide!

Do you accept yourself?

I attended an event where everyone was told to 'be free'. To express ourselves in whatever way we wanted. In fact, the invite let us all know in advance that this was to be the format.

Once the event started, 95% of attendees stood still, looking around or standing nervously. Some sat on the chairs provided for resting as required. This was only the beginning of the event.

I observed (as one of a series of facilitators) that attendees were unsettled. I realised they had not fully accepted they were 'free'. They waited for direction, instruction or confirmation that they were in fact 'free to be'.

As facilitators, we encouraged and we empowered but in the end, we had to show what it looked like to be free. Attendees began to get loose, be loose, be free. They began to realise that they truly were free to express themselves. They began to accept 'freedom'. They began to accept themselves. It was ok. They were ok.

Do you accept yourself?
Accepting all of who you are?

These attendees were free, even before they walked into the event but did they accept themselves?

• Why did you do that?
• What are you saying?
• Who are you?
• Where are you going?
• When did you decide on this?

Some people accept us for who they want us to be, 'Be sensible', 'I thought you were my friend', 'Why not go for a drink?', 'I always looked up to you'.

• They want a peer, so don't move higher or lower
• They want a mentor, so don't ever be down or make a mistake
• They want a mentee, so don't ever become empowered beyond where they are

A few people accept us, just the way we are

• It's ok to be successful
• It's ok to fail sometimes

They accept us and do not put any demands or unfair expectations upon us.

BUT

Whether some accept us or some don't accept us, do we accept ourselves?

You are enough, just as you are. Of course, we all grow and change. Of course, we fall or fail too.

There's beauty and magnitude within you (see my blog re Giants), not to crush others but to lift them up, walk with them, to be an advocate or simply to be an example.

Do you accept yourself?

Accept yourself - Do it yourself for yourself.

It's not selfish, it's self-care!

I describe......................You decide.

Who are you hanging with?

In this month of Spring Cleaning for Change, we need to search every area of our lives.

Do you like to be where the action is....the limelight that is? Walking the red carpet of 'attention seeking behaviour' hoping others will see what you do, rather than who you are.

Who needs your support?

Doing good really feels great and is great! A spring clean of the heart.

In the Bible, Jesus sought out Prostitutes, Tax-Collectors, Samaritans, ignorant Fishermen, the sick (Lepers), Women, the demon-possessed, in fact anyone who was shunned or actively rejected by religious leaders.

Let's clean ourselves out by 'hanging out' with the right crowd.
Do you know anyone who is sick, either at home or in hospital? How about a person who needs someone to talk to? Someone with a listening ear rather than a 'Judge & Jury'.

Who in your family has been rejected?  Who at work has been left on the side lines of life, spiralling down under the pressure of loneliness?

Are you a giver or a taker?

Look around....are your people, like your people? in other words, friends who are similar to you. It's all comfortable, no real challenge.

Who are you hanging out with?

If you're a taker, find some givers. If you're a giver, find a taker.  Creating different kinds of friendships cleans out the dross of poor judgements, prejudices, pride, selfishness, ignorance, lack of faith, intolerance and lack of Love.

Warning: If you hang with haters (nasty to you or others), RUN!
Run as fast as you can away, far away. You deserve better.

Who are you hanging with?



I describe............................You decide!

Spring Clean Too - What's missing in your life?

Have a look around, a careful look.....what's missing?

I believe.....Life is what you make it.

So, what is missing in your life?


Laughter? Make yourself laugh. You know what puts a smile on your face. You don't need to wait for anyone else to do it for you. What makes you laugh out loud? Just do it yourself.  Think 'funny', think smile, laugh until it hits your belly. It feels good, really good. Give it a go! What's missing in your life?

Quiet? Create a time and space for yourself. Try 60 seconds, then 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins until you have the time you need to be quiet. Be still and know......what's missing in your life?

Friends - Too many? Gain more time by letting go. Release the friends you really don't need to see any more. Too few? Look for the lost. Be friendly and you will get more friends. Really! Whose missing in your life?

Freshness? Do something 'new'. Something, you have not done before. Try a cold shower - that's fresh! Revisit an idea you had as a child. Do it now. Nervous, take baby steps toward your idea or strategically leap in wisdom. That will get you fresh quickly! Don't die with regrets - get fresh. What's missing in your life?

Money? Think about your money in new way!  money issues can push you to be financially sound.   Think about it. Learn how to manage your money...it's not natural (except to those it comes naturally to, of course). Ask a friend (they must be a good money manager) or search for tips and bits online. Whats missing in your life?

Provocation? A little bit of hate does wonders for your confidence. Knock it....No! I mean, build you up. If you let it, hate can motivate you to be better, do better, to really love yourself. No one else can love you, like you can. A big bit of love does wonders too for your confidence. Can you receive love? Are you able to give love..no conditions, simply love from the heart? Provoke yourself to be your best self and provoke others to love too. What's missing in your life?

Spouse? Look around..there are so many beautiful people who are full of love around the world...don't limit yourself, don't get desperate...get new friends, a new life and a new level of love, not sex! Don't make a list for someone else...make a list for yourself. What's missing in your life?

Children - Are you really ready for that level of commitment, responsibility and stability? Whether you are male or female, try fostering first....that's a good start. Don't start a relationship you cannot sustain. Love is important. Care is essential. Bottom line..don't come as you are. Come better than you are. Children need it. What's missing in your life?

Jesus? Get a copy of the Bible and start reading! Proverbs is a good place to start..it's the book of wisdom. What's missing in your life?

I describe............You decide! What's missing?

Spring Clean for Change

Spring is finally here again and it feels great! A time of change...newness, freshness, greenness, cleanliness.

Spring Cleaning is defined as 'a thorough cleaning of a house or room, typically undertaken in Spring..' (Google dictionary)

Spring is a great time to consider spring cleaning ourselves. 

A Spring Clean for Change;

• Our Appearance
• How we Think
• Our Behaviour
• How we Speak
• Our Attire
• What we do

We may not need to spring clean every area but we should check just in case we do. You never know where the cobwebs or dust could be building up. Check everywhere.

What do you need for your Spring clean?
 A new wardrobe. Exercise. A new eating program. Advice. Support. Left alone to meditate. To pray. New learning material. To sleep more. Positive thinking

When will you start?
Now is a good time as any..'start as you mean to go on'. Select a specific date.

Does everything need cleaning?
What are you thinking right now? Do you need to renew your mind daily (Bible - Romans 12:2). Do you need to detox?

Do you still use it?
Maybe a skill you've learnt many years ago. Certain words. The leather watch. Those winter boots. What others think of you?

Do you need to let it go?
The false beliefs about yourself. Worrying. Too much work. Being too friendly. Being too serious. Unbelief.

Do you need to replace or upgrade it?
Your mattress for a better night's sleep. Your spectacles or contact lenses. Your health regimen. Your lifestyle.

Or do you need to make space by decluttering?
Memories that you should have left in the past long ago and move forward. Friends who are no longer friends but familiar people taking up a lot of time.

Spring Clean for change before change cleans you out!


I describe........................You decide!